Welcome to the final day of the 2018 Love Blog Challenge! Today’s prompt is Favorites. Check out the announcement post for all the prompts and rules this month. You can still join the link-up for yesterday’s topic, Enchantment.
Looking for good marriage advice? I’ve scoured the Internet for all the best tips to a fulfilling and long-lasting marriage!
Some marriage tips come from multiple sources, but I’ve tried to link the best example or description of each piece of marriage advice. If the marriage advice is general, I’ve shared multiple specific marriage tips that apply. Finally, some of this marriage advice comes from my parents, who modeled a loving and respectful marriage for me.
Love and respect go hand-in-hand in a healthy marriage. All spouses need both love and respect. This is not a gendered thing.
2) Say “I love you” every day.
This is such an easy thing to do, but it’s so important to a long-lasting and fulfilling marriage! My husband and I both start and end our days by telling each other, “I love you.” I can never get enough of those 3 little words!
3) Prioritize quality time with your spouse.
Quality time is key to any relationship, but especially a marriage. Quality time can be a challenge when you and your spouse are both busy, but it’s still so important. These resources on quality time should help you with your marriage.
- Speaking the Love Language of Quality Time
- 5 Ways to Sneak in Quality Time With Your Spouse
- Finding Quality Time When You’re Overwhelmed & Exhausted
- 10 Ways to Connect with Your Spouse in 10 Minutes or Less
- 3 Myths About Quality Time in Marriage
Yes, quality time with your spouse is important, but so is alone time. Keep pursuing your hobbies. Spend time with your friends. It’s healthy to spend time without your spouse. When you’re able to find fulfillment as an individual, you’re better able to sustain a fulfilling marriage.
5) Touch each other often.
Physical touch is another love language. Even if it’s not your primary love language, or your spouse’s, it’s still an important aspect of marriage. A little bit of physical affection goes a long way! Little pecks on the lips, long hugs, morning cuddles, and quick back scratches are all easy ways to express physical affection. The following articles on marriage advice will help you understand the importance of physical touch and implement it in your marriage.
- The Power of Physical Touch
- 10 Physical Touch Love Language Ideas
- Why Your Spouse Needs at Least 8 Touches a Day
6) When it comes to gifts, remember it’s the thought that counts.
Gifts don’t need to be expensive or flashy. Just put a little thought into them. Surprise your spouse with a love letter. Bring home flowers just because. Cook your spouse’s favorite meal and serve it on the nice dishes. And when your spouse gives you a gift, don’t think about the price tag. Appreciate the thought.
- How to Love Your Spouse: Gifts
- Be More Intentional with Your Gift Giving
- The Psychology of Gift Giving
- The Art of Gift Giving
Words of Affirmation is my love language, so how my husband speaks to me matters greatly. Even if it’s not your primary love language, it’s still important to speak to your spouse with love. I’ve put together 5 tips to do this easily. Especially when you’re upset, you should remember to speak with kindness and respect towards your spouse.
8) Be supportive when your spouse is struggling.
Marriage is for better and for worse. Sometimes the hard times affect both spouses equally. Other times, one spouse will struggle with illness, work, trauma, or something else. During those times, your spouse needs extra support from you.
- How to Support Your Spouse While They’re in School
- Supporting a Partner With Depression
- 10 Ways To Help Your Partner Cope With Loss
Listening to understand is key to effective communication, especially in marriage. Nurturing Marriage has a great article with tips for listening to your spouse.
The Dating Divas know all about the importance of dating, which is why they shared 10 reasons your marriage needs date night. The dating shouldn’t end once you tie the knot! Keep dating your spouse. Keep getting to know each other. Regular date nights are just one little way to keep your marriage strong.
Danielle at Today’s the Best Day shared 25 ways to spice up your marriage. By “spice,” I don’t just mean sex! It’s easy to get into a rut after years of marriage. Mix things up! Do something different! Dress up for date night. Write each other love notes. And yes, keep the physical intimacy going!
Your spouse should be your ultimate confidante. Communicate regularly with your spouse. Confide your hopes and dreams, concerns and fears. If someone asks you to keep a secret from your spouse, say no. When this happens to me, I let friends know that I will use my best judgment on whether or not to share their secret with my husband. They can decide whether or not to confide in me, knowing I might tell my husband. I’ve written about this marriage advice in detail with examples of secrets to keep and secrets to share with your spouse.
13) Have fun together.
Laughter is one of the best things to share with your spouse! Crack jokes. Act like kids. Play games. Watch movies. Being an adult involves a lot of responsibility and work, but take time out each day to have fun with your spouse.
Part of adulthood is learning to take responsibility for your own actions. This is particularly crucial to a healthy marriage. You will make at least a few mistakes during your marriage. You will sometimes upset your spouse. Accept responsibility for your actions. Don’t deflect blame or make excuses. A guest blogger on Simple Marriage shared a story on how he messed up once and what he did to fix it.
15) Fight fair.
To be clear, this refers to verbal arguments. You should never resort to physical altercations in any relationship, but especially a marriage. There will be times when you and your spouse disagree about something big, and you two will need to work through it. Always remember that you love each other. Reframe the conversation as you two teamed up against the problem, instead of you two fighting each other. For Your Marriage has a great list of 25 ways to fight fair in your marriage.
Whether you and your spouse are arguing, or you’re just thinking negative thoughts about your spouse, avoid using absolute statements. From Care2, “Always and never conversations only escalate the problem and cut off the ability for the other person to understand what is being communicated.”
This is part of taking responsibility for yourself, but genuine apologies are so important that this needs to be its own category. When you hurt your spouse’s feelings, or you make a mistake, apologize. Even if you didn’t intend to do something wrong, the impact of your words or actions hurt your spouse.
18) Forgive your spouse.
Just like you will sometimes hurt your spouse, your spouse will hurt you. When they offer a sincere apology, accept it. Forgive them. Let them make it right to you, and then move on. Finally, it’s only fair to bring this up again IF your spouse repeats the behavior, leading to a conversation about the pattern of hurtful behavior. Don’t hold this mistake against them forever.
This is the best marriage advice I’ve ever read. In fact, I wrote an entire blog post on the topic! To put it simply, whenever dividing up tasks with your spouse, strive to do 60% of the work yourself. This has two primary benefits. First, aiming for a 60-40 split compensates for your biased perspective that might overestimate your own efforts while underestimating your spouse’s efforts. Second, you don’t obsess over trying to keep everything 50-50, but you will still notice if you and your spouse unevenly contribute to the household.
Paper Anniversary shares 3 reasons backed by research to celebrate your anniversary. Every wedding anniversary is special. Celebrate another year of marriage! You don’t have to spend a lot of money or go on a big trip. Even a nice dinner at home with a bottle of wine and candles can be an anniversary celebration.
You can only change yourself, not your spouse. Instead of focusing on your spouse’s faults, take a hard look at your own. How can you improve yourself? By taking the lead to improve yourself, your spouse might choose to follow and improve as well. Charlene at Enduring All Things has a great blog post on this topic.
Amberly at A Prioritized Marriage shares all the positive benefits in embracing the differences in your marriage. After all, you married your spouse, not your clone! Your differences only make you stronger as a couple.
When writing about New Year’s resolutions, Charlene suggests making resolutions to prioritize your marriage. This article gives 20 examples of resolutions you and your spouse can make to focus on your marriage.
24) Schedule consistent marriage meetings.
Both Charlene and Amberly address this on their websites. Different couples call this different things, but the premise is similar. On a regular basis, sit down with your spouse and discuss your marriage. Check in with each other. Have an intentional conversation about how you both feel about everything in your relationship.
- Having Companion Inventory in Your Marriage
- How to have a Weekly Couple’s Meeting
- Couple Checkup Review
Counseling can help you and your spouse communicate better, work on any recurring issues, and gain fresh perspective on your relationship. Some people think that counseling is just for couples who fight, but it can be a useful tool in any marriage. I love what Sara from Mrs. Imperfect has to say about the benefits of marriage counseling.
Meet Your 2018 Love Blog Challenge Hosts!
Brita Long is the pink and sparkly personality behind the Christian feminist lifestyle blog, Belle Brita. While her first love will always be Paris, she lives happily with her husband Daniel Fleck in the Atlanta area.
Pam is one half of The Coastie Couple. She is a teacher turned blogger that shares her family’s adventures and recipes on the blog. She currently lives in Michigan with her husband, baby boy, and two dogs. You can often find her exploring the local area to find hidden gems to share on the blog. She enjoys travel, wine, writing, and playtime.
Tayler Morrell is a WAHM who loves to talk. She is obsessed with reading, writing, history, Wales. She is a Utahn transplant in Texas. The Morrell Tale aspires to show the real day to day of being a mommy blogger.
This is some of my favorite marriage advice. Considering how much bad marriage advice exists, I hope you appreciate these tips for a long-lasting and fulfilling marriage.
What’s your favorite marriage advice?