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Published: July 13, 2016

A Year Without My Mother

It's been a year since my mother died. I'm still grieving. | Belle Brita

I’m writing this late at night, or early in the morning, depending on your perspective. A year ago today, I couldn’t sleep either. It’s like I knew what would happen. The phone rang, the sound muffled from my dad’s room across the hall. I could hear him answer it, but not hear his words. Still,… [Read More]

13 CommentsFiled Under: GriefTagged With: cancer, personal growth

Published: May 8, 2016

Motherless on Mother’s Day

This is the first year I'm motherless on Mother's Day. It sucks. | Belle Brita

I wasn’t prepared for this new wave of pain. I knew December would be a low point in my first year of grief. My mom’s birthday and my parents’ wedding anniversary is December 13th. I knew celebrating those occasions without her, in addition to the holidays, would be difficult. I never expected Mother’s Day without… [Read More]

9 CommentsFiled Under: GriefTagged With: cancer

Published: April 13, 2016

What I Wish I Could Tell My Mother

9 months after my mother's death, I still can't believe I can't just call her up on the phone. | Belle Brita

I feel like I understand now why Catholics don’t just pray to God, but also to saints. It’s not that saints themselves can answer prayers, but they can pray for us too. Plus, as much I like chatting with God, sometimes I want to talk to someone else. Like my mom. Today marks nine months… [Read More]

17 CommentsFiled Under: GriefTagged With: cancer

Published: December 11, 2015

Brokenness and Grief

Five months after my mom died, I still feel so much anguish. | Belle Brita

I feel broken. I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s like part of me broke the day my mom died, and I haven’t figured out how to fix it yet. I’m lost. I’m confused. I’m scared. For the last four days, I haven’t managed to wake up until 9am or later. I haven’t… [Read More]

10 CommentsFiled Under: GriefTagged With: cancer, personal growth

Published: October 13, 2015

Grief is Weird

My husband made this beautiful garden paver with my mom's hand prints.

Today marks 3 months since my mom died. I have no idea what stage of grief I’m in. I actually think the 5 stages (7 stages?) of grief are basically bullshit. Denial I still spend a lot of time in denial. Fully feeling the reality of my loss overwhelms me. I can only do it… [Read More]

7 CommentsFiled Under: FaithTagged With: cancer, personal growth

Published: August 27, 2015

Thankful Thursday: Dealing with My Mother’s Death

More than six weeks after my mother's death, I'm thankful for the outpouring of love and support my family has received. | Belle Brita

My mom died just over six weeks ago. Some days are better than others. I recently attended my friend Leah’s wedding. My best friend/college roommate Rachel spent the weekend with Dan and me. My Kappa Big Dani officiated the wedding. Our reunion was wonderful! Even though we did talk about my mom, it was in… [Read More]

7 CommentsFiled Under: LifestyleTagged With: cancer, Thankful Thursdays

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Meet Brita

Christian feminist libertarian, making the world a better place one day at a time. Fueled by hot tea and mimosas. Read More…

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