Let’s talk about authentic blogging. Authenticity is like the newest blogging buzzword, but what does it mean exactly?
I admire bloggers who show the messy side of life. Last year my blogging friend Jess from Jessica Lynn Writes shared this amazing blog post, “A Beautiful Mess,” about the realities of motherhood.
I love bloggers who can poke fun of themselves and at the blogging life. Bonnie at The Life of Bon is a great example–her tips on fashion blogging crack me up!
I primarily read lifestyle blogs for a reason. I like the realness. I want to read about the ups and downs of someone else’s life. Some of bloggers willing to be vulnerable online have even become my friends.
I still remember how happy I felt when Carolynn of Kitty Adventures told me she was pregnant, after she’d shared her three miscarriages on her blog, and how overjoyed I felt when her son was born last year. Carolynn isn’t just another blogger to me–she’s my friend.
With these preferences in mind, I used to love the blog posts about “getting real” or being “vulnerable” on the blog. I cheered at every call for more authentic blogging. After all, getting into the nitty gritty on the blog is what I do.
Even those of you who once called me Belle and not Brita know that I’ve always been honest about my life. I’ve written about sex, Crohn’s Disease, my own experiences with sexual harassment and sexual assault, and, more recently, my ongoing grief after my mother’s death.
Writing about the messy and beautiful details is what I do. Authentic blogging is my jam! And yet, I’m no longer comfortable with some of the blog posts I read on authenticity.
Criticizing anything deemed inauthentic seems to be on the rise, and these calls for “authenticity” are starting to sound like just another demand on bloggers to be imperfectly perfect. The language has moved from, “Let’s be real with each other” to “I’m tired of beautiful photos of fake moments.”
Yes, I have a beautiful Instagram feed. #humblebrag I’ve spent the last few months working hard to create a colorful aesthetic that still reflects my personality. But does a beautiful Instagram account somehow mean I’m inauthentic? If I love flowers and everything pink, then aren’t beautiful photos still an authentic way to express myself?
Writing is therapeutic for me. Helping other women realize there’s more than one way to be a woman, a feminist, a Christian, a wife–that’s my calling.
But not everyone grieves publicly. Not everyone wants to write about politics or religion.
Not all bloggers blog or post to social media for the same reason. Just because some bloggers don’t want to write on sensitive topics doesn’t mean they’re fake or trying to front a perfect life.
I choose to tell my own story, even when that story involves other people in my life. But just like I’ve drawn the boundary not to write (much) about other people’s children, other bloggers draw their own boundaries about what to share online. That is their prerogative, and no one should judge them for that.
I am all about encouraging each other to have the hard conversations. But let’s stop shaming those who don’t want to be part of those hard conversations online.
What is your opinion on authentic blogging? Do you have boundaries for what you do and do not share online? I’d love to hear your thoughts on authenticity!
You are literally writing my thoughts, Brita. I, too, have noticed how “authenticity” means no pretty travel photos, no gorgeous flat-lays, and awful lighting. The way the blogosphere has hijacked “authenticity” and even “self-care” is kind of annoying. I love it when people put effort into their Instagram feeds (and I love yours too). But you are among some of the most authentic bloggers I know so it’s pretty ironic lol.
Yes I’ve noticed that with self-care too! It makes me sad. Since when is self care the most important thing in the world? And when did it start having to only look a certain way?
Self-care is most definitely important. It is a very high priority for me especially as an immigrant and a black woman. What I was saying is that the blogosphere (and the Internet in general) has turned self-care into a trend where self-care is doing things like yoga and eating kale. Meanwhile, people who are in the margins or whose serious circumstances go unheard have always preached it or fought for it before it was called that. For me, self-care is survival.
I agree. That’s mostly what I meant by it having to look a certain way these days. Self-care and a lot of other things out there look so different for different people so it really bothers me when standards start being put on these things. You’re right, it has turned into a trend and I don’t like that at all.
Self-care is definitely important, but the idea that self-care is always bubble baths with candles is more the problem. I know for me, self-care is often the radical refusal to put other people’s wants and needs above my own. Women are often boxed into this self-sacrificial role that just is not healthy with a chronic illness. My self-care is prioritizing my health above literally everything else, including my husband.
Great minds do think alike 😉 Considering how necessary quality photos/graphics are for social media sharing, it’s so weird that now we’re being inauthentic if we use quality photos. My husband is a good photographer #sorrynotsorry
I’m glad you love my IG feed! I stumbled upon my aesthetic quite by accident in February, and I realized how much I liked it. So now it’s intentional. 🙂
And thank you, I do try to be authentic. For me that means talking about feminism and poop and sex with pretty photos of flowers and all things pink!
“For me that means talking about feminism and poop and sex with pretty photos of flowers and all things pink!” LOL please never change. <3
Yes. Yes. So much yes! I try to be authentic on my blog. I share a lot about my own life. Especially in my monthly goals posts and things like that. But it’s a balance. I don’t want to bombard people with boring details of my life. And like wise there are just some things I just won’t share. For example, I am a marriage blogger but I don’t blog about sex. At least not specifics. And especially not details about my own sex life. That’s between me and my husband. Some people may include a sex therapist or marriage counselor in there. But that’s it. Does that make me a bad or inauthentic blogger? I don’t think so. Anyway, thanks for writing this. 🙂
I have so many inappropriate yet hilarious responses.
Pics or it didn’t happen.
Sex tape or you’re inauthentic.
Maybe I should start snapchatting from the bathroom to be truly “authentic” about having Crohn’s Disease… right? 😉
But for reals, I think most of us are trying to be authentic in our own way. We’re all different people, so what’s authentic for me might be totally fake for you! That’s the beauty of the blogosphere. We’re a diverse group of people just sharing what we want to share.
Haha that cracked me up! But you’re so right. We’re all different and authentic in our own way! So stop trying to make everybody be authentic in the same way, blogosphere! Isn’t that like the opposite of the definition of the word? haha
YESSSS!! I try and be authentic on my blog. Of course, there are things I won’t share, 1. Pictures of my niece – I believe in consent and since she can’t speak to tell me yes or no it’ll be a while until I show a picture of her. but other members of my family are fair game 2. My sex life because no one needs to know that.
Just because you don’t share 100% of yourself doesn’t mean you aren’t being authentic – it just means you respect that other people have feelings and opinions.
We are so on the same level. The only picture of my nephew doesn’t show his face. He’s the cutest little snuggly baby you’ll ever meet, but my billion pictures of me with him are sent via private texts or snapchats to family and close friends, most of whom know my BIL and SIL-in-law.
Also I do need to know about your sex life. All blogging sex lives, to be specific. I am entitled to that as a blog reader. Obviously.
Be careful what you wish for, Brita! I might just start sharing about my sex life…
I feel like you could seriously troll me with this…
I take it back!!!! Don’t do it!
Yes, yes, YES! What’s authentic to me may not be deemed authentic to others. There are parts of my life that don’t get shared as I have three teenagers and they didn’t choose to blog, I did. So by not sharing more about them am I deemed not authentic bc basically they are my life and I am not sharing that huge part of me? I should hope not. As for the Instagram….I agree with you completely. I share a photo that I find pretty and it relates to me and my life in some way. Because it’s styled does that mean it’s not real? Nope. Just means I like to use my Insta to show my somewhat creative side. It all goes back to “you do you and I’ll do me”. Let’s just cheer each other on and support each other and applaud what we are each willing to share and say.
Exactly! Bloggers should all support each other and assume the best of each others intentions.
I try to be authentic on my blog, but I always have tried to draw the line at “airing dirty laundry” so to speak. If my husband and I fight, which all couples usually do, or if something big that effects more than just me happens then I do not blog about it. There are certain things I do not think my future children or strangers need to read about me or my family. I will be raw, I will be emotional, but I will not jeopardize relationships or beat anyone down.
That’s a good boundary for you to draw as a blogger. Whenever I blog about my marriage, I let Dan read through it first so he can approve it or request that I edit out something.
I love how honest you are! I think all words mean different things to different people, and thus the confusion over the “authentic” label: because it can mean something different for everyone. I think you are totally authentic, and I try to be too. Life is a journey.
Thank you! I try to be authentic, and I definitely feel that you are. <3