Dear Brita, age 7:
You are not dying. Shortly after your 8th birthday, a wonderful man named Dr. Clark will run some tests. They’ll be scary, but Mommy will be there. The nicest nurse you’ve ever known (“Miss” Denece) will hold your hand. Dr. Clark will tell you and your parents that you have Crohn’s Disease. You’re going to be okay, but it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be scared.
Dear Brita, age 12:
You’re already conforming to society’s unrealistic demand for hairless women. One day you won’t care so much about your occasionally fuzzy legs or hairy underarms. Even so, I wish you knew how much easier it is to shave with just running water. Shaving cream is a ridiculous waste of time and money.
Listen to your mom about the pastel lip colors. They really do wash you out. If you must wear purple lip gloss, buy it in a deeper shade.
Do NOT listen to your best friend about crimping your hair. Your hair is beautiful curly. Your hair is beautiful wavy. Your hair is beautiful straight. Your hair is a frizzy 90s cliche crimped.
Dear Brita, age 17:
Report him for sexual harassment. The constant remarks about your breasts are NOT okay. The constant taunts–slut, whore, bitch–are NOT okay. Even if you HAD kissed a boy by now–hell, even if you’d already had sex–no one has the right to call you those names.
Don’t waste your time applying to Davidson. You know you’ll get into Furman, and you prefer it over Davidson. Still apply to Harvard and to William & Mary, but try not to cry if you don’t get in. Furman will be an amazing four years.
Spend as much time as you can with Kimi, Madison, Aimee, and Matt. They’re the ones still in your life 10 years after graduation. Oh, and invite Russell to prom. I know you haven’t seen him since he graduated, but he’s about to become one of your closest, life-long friends.
Dear Brita, age 22:
You’re finally going to get a tattoo!!!!! I hope I didn’t ruin the surprise, but I’m just so excited for you!
Here’s all the stuff your boss expects you to do, but will never actually tell you to do until she uses it to threaten to fire you:
- Hang up the wash to dry, except for socks/underwear/towels, which go in the dryer. Fold and put away everyone’s clothes, including your boss’s.
- Do the dishes on the weekend, even though that’s your time off, and even if you didn’t eat a single meal at home all weekend.
- Clean up all the toys that are scattered across the house on Monday morning, that certainly weren’t there Friday night when you got off work.
- Check to make sure all three kids have their sweaters under their coats, because they’re prone to leaving them at school.
- Unpack the kids’ suitcases when they return from vacation.
Your job will be stressful, but you’ll become best friends with Amelia, Chantal, and Jessica, so it evens out.
Brita, age 27
Linking up a few days early for The Circle with Kiki! What do you wish you knew at a younger age?