Welcome to Day 8 of #LoveBlog! Today’s prompt is National Marriage Week. Find all other prompts.
What is marriage?
I think anyone who has been married will offer a unique perspective. These are my thoughts on marriage.
Marriage is learning a new skill to please your spouse.
Dan and I took a few dance lessons before our wedding. I re-learned how to drive a manual transmission before we moved to Georgia. We’re both learning to be better cooks.
Marriage is understanding when your spouse makes mistakes.
I am not perfect. Dan is not perfect. Sometimes I screw up. Sometimes he screws up. What matters is that we both try to be kind to each other and to learn from our mistakes.
Marriage is helping each other out.
Dan has done a lot of heavy lifting in the last year and a half. First I spent so much time sick that I just couldn’t do much. Then my mom entered hospice care, and I basically moved back home for the summer. When she died, it’s like my ability to function as a capable adult died as well. While I certainly haven’t sat around and done nothing during this entire time, since everything has come and gone in waves, during each challenging period for me, Dan handled more of the household. On the flip side, when he lost his job, I was still working full-time and doing a full 50% of the household chores. Just like Dan takes on a greater share when I need help, I was willing to do the same for him.
Marriage is the occasional surprise just because.
Sometimes I have a bad day, so Dan brings me home flowers and sparkling wine. Other times I have a really exciting day, so Dan brings me home flowers and sparkling wine. Most of the time my days are perfectly average. Dan stills surprises me periodically with flowers and sparkling wine for no special reason at all.
Marriage is the genuine desire to meet each other halfway.
Most of the time when Dan and I compromise, it’s because we both genuinely want the other to be just as happy with whatever decision we make. A silly example is in the clothes Dan wears for date night. I do want us to look nice together, but I really want him to be comfortable. He wants to be comfortable, but he also wants me to like how he looks. What usually ends up happening is I ask him to wear his nice jeans (he has a few dark pairs) with whatever shirt I pick out. Saturday night we attended “Hearts for the Arts,” a local event to raise money for the Greenwood Arts Council. Naturally I wore a black and red dress, and I happily picked out a red shirt for Dan to wear with his nice jeans. He wore the same outfit the next morning to church. We were both quite happy with his outfit.
Marriage is liking the same food.
Seriously, we bond so much over bacon. And steak. And all the yummy yummy ways we make potatoes. And boneless wings. Even though we usually don’t go out to eat that often, when we do, we often split an entree! Loving most of the same foods, and having small appetites, makes it so easy to save money in restaurants! Daddy took us out to lunch yesterday after church. Dan and I split a small bacon-pepperoni pizza. It was amazing.
Marriage is making tea for each other.
I find something so loving in the simple act of making two cups of tea instead of one. Dan and I frequently drink herbal tea before bed. When I make him a cup, I add a little cold tap water to his mug to cool it down more quickly, since he doesn’t drink it very hot. I also set it down on his coaster so he doesn’t burn his hands on the hot mug. He gives me the sweetest look when he thanks me, and my heart just feels so full of love for him.
Meet Your #LoveBlog Hosts!
Meet Brita Long: Christian feminist blissfully married to Dan Fleck for almost two years. Lover of Paris, pink sparkles, sensible shoes, manicures, and books. Fueled by hot tea and mimosas.
Meet Brianna Campbell: Married to a dashing filmmaker named Clark, mama to our fur-child, Theodore. Blogger, singer/songwriter, and legal assistant. I love Jesus and cold beer. I write about health and wholeness, relationships, and finances. You can usually find me with coffee in hand watching Doctor Who or Friends.
Meet Tayler Morrell: Mormon stay at home mom married to her best friend, Justin, for 3.5 years. Mother to 19 month old Rhys. “Retired” history and English teacher, runner, lover of video games, fantasy, books, and cooking. Consumer of Italian food, chocolate, steak, and strawberries.
Welcome to #LoveBlog!
What does marriage mean to you?