I was an Angsty Teenage Poet

February 2, 2017

Last updated: February 1, 2017


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Welcome to the second day of #LoveBlog! Today’s prompt is Crushes. Check out the announcement post for all the prompts and rules this month. It’s not too late to link up for yesterday’s prompt, Valentine’s Day

I know I might seem like a perky, pinktastic person who sneezes bunnies and cries glitter, but…

Actually, I am. More or less.

But as a teenager?

I was a perky, pinktastic person with a dark, secret, black soul.

No one understood me. I was all alone in my completely rational angst about the half-dozen or so boys I liked at any given point in time.

So I wrote about it. In the form of poetry. Not always good poetry.

I just dug out my box of journals from over the years. Unfortunately, my journal from middle school is at my dad’s house, but I have the journal I started at the beginning of my junior year of high school.

Here I am, baring my soul to the world. Please don’t judge my teenage self too harshly.

As a teenager, I was so alone. So misunderstood. So obsessed with my half a dozen unrequited crushes... | Belle Brita

Unveil

How do I feel?

I don’t really know.

So many young men

Have captured my heart.

I feel a pang for many

And for three it is true

My heart skips a beat

When thinking of each

Do I like them?

Do I love them?

Is there one that who I shall covet?

So many feelings

For so many guys

I just wish my heart

Would unveil its disguise.

Yes, all punctuation, capitalization, and even the strike-through are original. Who were the guys? I could narrow it down to maybe a dozen. Seriously. I wrote this one near the beginning of junior year, based on the football poem next in my journal.

Imagine

Sometimes I watch him

When nobody’s looking

To see if he

Is looking at me

I think about him

When I’m alone

I imagine that

He’s thinking of me

I just wish I knew

If his thoughts paralleled mine

Because maybe then

I wouldn’t be alone

I have no idea who was the subject of this poem either. This one is from spring semester junior year, judging by the previous poem I wrote about an emotional chasm in the soccer team which we discussed in my French class. I’m pretty sure the guys all patched up their friendship since they later won the state championship. Guess what… I wrote a poem on that too!

My Head Spins

I think of him

The thought makes me sigh

I like him so much

But I don’t know why

When I say hello to him

He nods and he grins

He makes my heart pound

He makes my head spin

I just wish he’d notice

A girl who’s cute, funny, and smart

Because a girl like me

Should capture his heart

I wrote this poem at the beginning of senior year. AND I actually remember who was the lucky object of my (unrequited) affection. But I’m not telling!


 

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Join me and other bloggers for #LoveBlog, a daily blog link-up in February! | Belle Brita

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Brita Long is the pink and sparkly personality behind the Christian feminist lifestyle blog, Belle Brita. While her first love will always be Paris, she lives happily with her husband Daniel Fleck in the Atlanta area.

Meet Tayler, blogger at The Morrell Tale and co-host of #LoveBlog | Belle Brita

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Tayler is a motherhood and lifestyle blogger at The Morrell Tale. She loves raising her kids, Rhys (2.5 years old) and Evelyn (1 month old). She also writes about her time as a teacher, her Mormon religion, books she’s read, and recipes she and her husband have created.

Meet Alessia, blogger at The Blond Pond and co-host of #LoveBlog! | Belle Brita

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Alessia is a historian, social entrepreneur, political junkie and manquée professional comedian. Never to be seen in society without her standard Ray-ban Wayfarers, rose-gold iPhone, and ash-blonde Chelsea blow dry. Still the most (in)eligible Catholic bachelorette, with a love of fine wines, Jane Austen, and all things beautiful. Mistaken by her own mother for Amy Pond from Doctor Who. Blogs about life in London at The Blond Pond.

Join the February 2017 daily blog challenge #LoveBlog! Find 20 days worth of prompts at the link. | Belle Brita

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Enter the #LoveBlog2017 Giveaway!

I am so excited to include a giveaway for this year’s #LoveBlog! It starts February 1, 2017 and runs through the end of the month. US residents only. I love my international readers, but international giveaways are more difficult to manage legally.

I will verify the winning entry myself before emailing the winner during the first week of March. If the winner doesn’t respond, I’ll start the process over again.

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How many crushes did you juggle as a teenager? Did you write your own angst-ridden poetry? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

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19 Comments

  • This was fantastic! And refreshing! I’m so glad to know I wasn’t the only angsty teen who wrote in her journals about all her crushes. I mean I knew I wasn’t the only one, but I’m glad to know I was in good company. haha. I’ve recently gone through some old journals and I just cringe. You are brave to share these with us!

    • I’m sure all of us were secretly spilling our angst-ridden thoughts into journals.

      I didn’t share the best of them. By that I mean, two of the poems I wrote my junior year I still think are quite good and would resonate with other teens. But they’re also a lot more personal, which is why they’re good, so I don’t want to share them!

      • I’m just thankful that the internet pretty much didn’t exist when I was an angst-ridden teen… so there is no online record of my teen years.

  • HAHAHAHA I love this post! I was kind of the same…I have never really loved pink, but I definitely had the angsty teenage poetic soul too!

    • I didn’t actually show any of my crushes my bad poetry. That would be terrible! Also my best friend totally topped me with her crushes. She had so many more than I did!

  • I remember writing poetry a lot as a teen. Most of it was mopey and depressing. My current novel endeavors are about sappy romance 🙂 I just may try my hand a poetry writing again at some point. Your poetry is not that bad btw! You should have read some of the poetry the girls in my college classes wrote. All I can say is YIKES! They actually did show it to the people they wrote it about. It didn’t go well.

  • ahahaha wow. Do we all go through a poet phase at that age? I also wrote poetry in high school, but given my anti-boy, anti-crush stance at the time, my poetry was mostly limericks or rhymed fan fiction for my fav movies or book series. I also wrote a poem which was an anti-prince retelling of the story of Rapunzel…that one is probably still my favorite.
    My mom still has some poems that some of the boys who had crushes on her in high school wrote to/about her. My dad was not at all the poem type, though. ha!

    • I love retold fairy tales. You should publish that one on your blog. It sounds amazing.

      That’s really cute that boys wrote poems for your mom. Dan is not a poem type either, and I’m okay with it! My “love” poems were all angsty, so once I started dating Dan, I had nothing to write about!

  • This brought back memories of horribly melodramatic letters to the love of my life of the week 🙈😂
    I guess it’s a rite of passage.