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Welcome to the first day of the 2018 Love Blog Challenge! Today’s prompt is The 5 Love Languages (Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch). Check out the announcement post for all the prompts and rules this month. This post contains affiliate links.
This is the third year I’ve hosted my annual Love Blog Challenge. This is also the third year I’ve used The 5 Love Languages as a prompt. In fact, during the first year, each individual language was its own prompt!
Words of Affirmation has always been my primary love language. I’m a writer, so this is no surprise! My secondary love language changes back and forth between Quality Time and Physical Touch. When I took the quiz two years ago, Physical Touch was my secondary love language, with Quality Time scoring as a high third.
When I took the quiz a few days ago, Quality Time is now a distant second to Words of Affirmation, with Physical Touch and Acts of Service tying for third.
This is how I scored.
Words of Affirmation – 11
Quality Time – 7
Physical Touch – 5
Acts of Service – 5
Receiving Gifts – 2
Even though Physical Touch has dropped its ranking, I want to discuss it today.
When you hear Physical Touch as a love language, what comes to mind?
If you thought sex, that’s okay. I did too!
But Physical Touch can be your primary love language even if you aren’t in a sexual relationship. When Physical Touch is your primary love language, that applies to your platonic and familial relationships too.
Related: Physical Touch Isn’t Just About Sex
Physical Touch Love Language Ideas for Friends and Family
I don’t think my mom ever took the official 5 Love Languages quiz, but I feel confident in saying her love language was Physical Touch. She could never get enough hugs from my dad, my brothers, or me. She loved when any of us played with her hair (okay, that sounds a lot like me). My mom would reach out to touch my hand if she was expressing something serious. She expressed her love in many ways, but her instinct was Physical Touch.
If a close friend or family member’s love language is Physical Touch, here are some ideas to speak their love language.
- Hug them hello and goodbye. I am a hugger. Give me alllllllllll the hugs! Not everyone is, and I respect that, but I do love me some hugs. Whenever I see my friends or family, I give them all a big hug. When I was a college student, this was true with many friends, even if I saw them every day! When I have to leave my friends or family, I also hug them goodbye. Hugging is a small and easy way to show someone you love them.
- Give them a neck rub or back scratch. It’s sad that certain touches tend to be associated with sex. I give amazing back scratches, but they’re not sexual. I just have strong nails! When I studied abroad, my friends and I would hang out at night and chat about our day while I gave each of them a back scratch. Sometimes when Dan and I spend time with his family, he’ll walk around, giving his parents and his brothers a quick neck rub. Just a few minutes of physical affection helps your loved one relax.
- Celebrate with a high five or fist bump. If you aren’t a physically demonstrative person, that’s okay. You can still offer small touches likes high fives or fist bumps. Just because someone else’s love language is Physical Touch doesn’t mean you should give more physical affection than you’re comfortable doing. I’m quite the snuggly person, and I still appreciate an excited high five or fist bump!
- Hold them when they’re sad. My family has been through a lot over the last few years. Nothing can describe my emotions from my mom’s cancer journey and eventual death. A lot of people held me as I cried. My husband, yes, and my dad, certainly, but also many friends and family.
- Kiss their cheek or the top of their head. I used to live in France where I frequently greeted people with cheek kisses. Back in the States, this is less common as a casual greeting, but I still appreciate platonic kisses from my friends and family. My mom’s side of the family tends to do this, and I love it. Even though I don’t get to see those relatives very often, I feel like a true part of the family when they greet me with a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.
Physical Touch Love Language Ideas for Spouses
If your spouse’s love language is Physical Touch, then yes, sex is part of that. However, you can speak their love language in many ways. Try one of these Physical Touch love language ideas!
- Hold their hand in public. I still remember the first time Dan held my hand. On our fourth date, we were walking around a rose garden. He reached for my hand and intertwined his fingers with my own. I had already kissed him on our second date (and our third), but there was just something so special about holding hands. We’ve been married almost four years, and I still love holding Dan’s hand! Sometimes at restaurants, after we’ve ordered, I’ll reach across the table so we can hold hands and talk until our food comes. When we go to the movies or the theatre, Dan’s hand eventually finds my own to hold during the show.
- Kiss each other good-bye every time. Dan leaves for work when it’s still dark outside. Right before he goes, he wakes me up to kiss me good-bye. When one of us is leaving for a trip, we always hug and kiss right before leaving. It’s a quick, little kiss, but I cherish my good-bye kiss every morning.
- Dance together. I love to dance. Dan tolerates dancing. Luckily he loves me enough to dance a few numbers with me at weddings and at appropriate concerts. I enjoy dancing with friends too, but I always save a few dances for my husband, even if that means skipping a dance with a good dancer or leaving my girl group behind on the dance floor. And I save ALL the romantic slow songs for my husband.
- Initiate touch. Anything on this list can easily be initiated by the partner whose love language is Physical Touch and just received by the other partner. But really speaking Physical Touch as a love language means you should also initiate physical touch. Let your partner know how much you enjoy touching them.
- Respect physical boundaries. When Physical Touch is your love language, this also means you’re especially hurt when touch is misused. Dan and I have agreed to certain boundaries regarding how we physically touch each other. For example, neither one of us likes to be tickled. I sometimes tickle Dan inadvertently when I’m being affectionate with a light touch (he’s very ticklish), but I realized early in our relationship not to tickle him deliberately. When I do tickle him inadvertently, I apologize and adjust my touch. Speaking your partner’s Physical Touch love language needs to include knowing what NOT to do.
Related: 25 Simple Ways to Show Affection in Marriage
If Physical Touch isn’t your own love language, learning how to speak it can be a challenge. However, you can still respect your own boundaries while expressing the Physical Touch love language. I hope these ideas will help you with any of your loved ones whose primary love language is Physical Touch.
Meet Your 2018 Love Blog Challenge Sponsor!
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Is your best friend’s love language Receiving Gifts? Then look for the perfect Galentine’s Day gift at Ankit. This pinktastic brand designs spectacular home goods, tech, novelty items, and more that you can see sold in fabulous stores like Nordstrom and Anthropologie. From magical mermaid pillows and cozy quilts to wine glasses and candles, you can find the colorful product of your dreams at Ankit. Ankit is a sponsor of the 2018 Love Blog Challenge.
Meet Your 2018 Love Blog Challenge Hosts!
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Brita Long is the pink and sparkly personality behind the Christian feminist lifestyle blog, Belle Brita. While her first love will always be Paris, she lives happily with her husband Daniel Fleck in the Atlanta area.
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Alessia is a lifestyle blogger, entrepreneur and post-graduate student in History from the best borough in London, up and coming Croydon. She’s a bit like Emma Woodhouse (Pemberley Digital version) and just about no longer the most eligible Catholic bachelorette, as she has found her Mr Knightley in sunny Derbyshire.
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Susannah is a small town living, simplicity loving, stargazing mama who lives in the Pacific Northwest. She spends her days loving on two precious little boys and one amazing man. She chronicles the way she is reclaiming simplicity in motherhood and marriage on her blog, Simple Moments Stick.
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What’s your love language? If you have a significant other, what’s their love language? How hard is it to speak a love language different than your own?
I LOVE Eskimo kisses. They are just tiny sweet gestures which are really intimate and playful <3
Yes, such a cute idea!
This is such a great and helpful list. Physical touch is not my first language, and it is my husband’s. So I’m tucking these reminders into my toolkit. Also, I’m so looking forward to following this challenge!
I’m so glad these suggestions can help! I’m glad to have you along for the challenge this month. <3
Physical touch would probably be at the bottom of my list, haha! Two of my baby sisters have a strong physical touch love language though and I always try to be mindful of that because of how precious they are to me! BTW, I do maintain my US residency and do have a US mailing address, so I still tend to enter giveaways regardless of current location. 😉
Acts of Service used to be at the bottom of my list, but I think buying a house might have triggered the change. There’s just so much more to clean. Dan is a wonderful partner in many ways, but he still does not think to put his dishes in the sink and fill them with water to make it easier when I actually do the dishes. I don’t mind doing the dishes the majority of the time, since he works a normal job and has a commute, but I feel unappreciated when he inadvertently makes my chores harder to do. On the other hand, I feel loved when he offers to do the dishes so I can finish up a blog post! (That will happen a lot this month, I think).
That got longer than I intended… On the subject of Physical Touch, I became way more patient with my mom’s constant neediness for affection once I discovered the 5 Love Languages. And now that she’s gone, I’m all the more glad that I discovered the 5 Love Languages in college, giving me years of accepting her love language.
I’m glad you can still enter! Ankit only ships to US addresses, which is one reason for the restriction. The other is that figuring out the legality of international giveaways is a bit more complicated, and I actually care about making sure my giveaways are 100% compliant with local laws. You’ll notice I always include a free entry–that goes along with the “no purchase necessary” fine print you see when brands hold contests.
We did a Love Languages assessment at work and it was really fun – it was interesting seeing what everyone prefers when it comes to love languages with co-workers.
It’s pretty cool seeing how those love languages differ between work/personal.
That’s interesting! It makes sense. Employees with Words of Affirmation probably appreciate acknowledgement for their work. Employees with Receiving Gifts probably appreciate an office card and cake on their birthday. Physical Touch is harder in the workplace, but I think the fist bumps and high fives I suggested would still be appropriate.
Apparently acts of service is my love language..I took an online test (I can’t remember how reliable it was) a couple years ago. It’s all very interesting for sure.
My husband and I did a test on that before! I forgot the results, but they were really interesting
It’s so interesting how our languages change. Quality Time has ALWAYS been my number one. But back in college and the first few years of our marriage, Physical Touch was a close second. Now that’s moved down to number 4. It’s still very important to Pearson though so I try to initiate it as much as possible.
How people treat you is love language to me and I try to respond in love.