When you fall in love with an engineer, you can’t expect a traditional engagement ring.
Luckily for both Dan and me, I never wanted a traditional engagement ring. My mom’s engagement ring is an oval sapphire surrounded by diamond chips. I’ve always dreamed of having my own unusual engagement ring, just like hers.
Like I mentioned a few weeks ago, Dan and I started looking at engagement rings after I pre-proposed to him. I only had three requirements.
- I wanted the metal to be silver in color, which still left a variety of options.
- I wanted floral inspiration of some sort.
- I wanted the materials (metal and stones) to be ethically-sourced.
These requirements still gave Dan a lot of freedom to design the ring he envisioned on my hand. In fact, the real challenge was finding a jeweler willing to work with palladium.
What’s palladium, you ask? It’s a metal similar to platinum. My darling nerdy husband couldn’t propose with a traditional sterling silver, white gold, or platinum ring. We researched metal alternatives together, keeping in mind my skin sensitivity to nickel. Palladium satisfied both Dan’s nerdy desires and my hypoallergenic needs.
Dan found the perfect selection of unique floral engagement rings at Krikawa!
Dan felt a little nervous about buying a ring for me to wear and to love for the rest of my life. So when he found Krikawa’s rings, he sent me the link above. I gave him detailed feedback on all of the rings. That way the exact ring was still a surprise for me, but Dan felt confident in his choice.
The choice of metal is not the only unusual feature for my engagement ring. The stones also depart from traditional engagement rings.
My engagement ring features a light blue diamond accented by two blue sapphires. All three stones are lab-created. While other options exist for ethical gemstones, Dan and I chose lab-created jewels. Not only are they an ethical alternative, they are also cheaper than their natural counterparts. Blue diamonds are rare in nature, but my lab-created diamond was similar in price to a natural white diamond. My lab-created sapphires were so inexpensive that I predict more custom sapphire jewelry in my future!
Why did Dan choose light blue and dark blue stones for my engagement ring? To honor my love for Kappa Kappa Gamma and to acknowledge the role my sorority played in our relationship. I blogged about my proposal last October, celebrating two years since Dan asked me to marry me. He proposed in Kappa’s history museum in Columbus, Ohio.
Our wedding bands are also nerdy. Dan found an artist who laser-engraves titanium to create customized wedding bands.
Dan’s wedding band has a blue infinity design on the outside. The artist engraved the inside with our wedding date and with my fingerprint from the ring finger of my left hand.
My wedding band was supposed to be light blue with a dark blue design, but it looks all dark blue. I still love it, though! My band has a fleur-de-lis pattern on the outside, modeled after my fleur-de-lis tattoo. Like Dan’s ring, the inside features our wedding date, but with Dan’s fingerprint.
Unlike many brides, I do not wear my engagement ring and my wedding band together. The flowers on my engagement ring make it impossible to nest with a wedding band. Occasionally I will wear my wedding band on my left hand and my engagement ring on my right. Most of the time, however, I just wear my engagement ring or my wedding band on my left hand and one of several rings on my right hand.
Now it’s your turn to share! What are your thoughts on engagement ring and wedding band styles?
I love the story of your rings:) Alternative engagement and wedding rings rock!!! I enjoy reading stories about how couples come to choose the rings they do, especially nerdy couples!
I haven’t gotten a wedding band yet, but it won’t sit flush with my engagement ring either. I was still planning on wearing them together, however, with a cheap spacer ring to keep them from scratching each other. If you don’t mind my asking: is it your choice not to wear them together, or is it uncomfortable?
PS. Thanks for linking to Krikawa! I love their floral rings, but somehow never came across them while searching for ours!!!
Virginia, the reasoning behind wearing one or the other was that the engagement ring was plenty appropriate for normal use. The ring whether the engagement or the wedding ring signify the same commitment and love. For us, the engagement was just a time to prepare for the wedding, it wasn’t as if one of us was going to back out after the engagement started.
The flip side is that the wedding ring is far less expensive than the engagement ring and also smooth and simple. This makes it more appropriate for use while traveling or doing activities where the fancier, more expensive engagement ring could get lost or damaged. The wedding ring is made of very sturdy titanium and could be replaced for less than $500. Sadly, this doesn’t reflect on the insurance we pay for the engagement ring that we choose not to subject it to as much risk, but it does make us feel better about having a high deductible on that policy.
We had already determined these things before the engagement ring was purchased, so it was never our plan to get matching rings.
Thanks Daniel! I hope I didn’t come off as being critical of the decision – I’m sitting in my hairstylist’s chair, so deepest apologies if I phrased something incorrectly – I was genuinely curious! 🙂 Right now, my engagement ring is worn daily when i leave the house, but when I get home I immediately put it away.
I also love that you don’t have matching rings. Ethan and I won’t either, but each of our rings will be deeply meaningful for both of us.
And yes, insurance on rings is ridiculous!
Virginia, I didn’t detect any criticism in your post and I apologize if my response sounded like I did. I’ve been told that my overly logical brain tends to makes my views and opinions sound worse in text than they do when spoken.
It’s a sad byproduct of being an engineer and carefully selecting language that makes all my writing sound paranoid and cold… Luckily Brita edits most of my writing to bring some warm and friendly feeling to it.
What Dan said. 🙂 Initially we didn’t even plan on getting a separate wedding band, but we decided it was good to have a durable, affordable alternative. I technically could wear the rings together if I really wanted, but they would look weird together. I actually had a few sentences about that in my first draft, but it didn’t really mesh well with the overall post. 😉
That’s so cool, I didn’t realize you could actually buy lab-created diamonds. I knew they made them, obviously, but had read that they tend to not sell them because of the control of the diamond companies.
Plus this means yours are practically perfect in every way!! That’s awesome.
I was actually super-bummed to find out that lab-created diamonds are just as flawed as natural ones! I totally thought mine would be perfect. 🙁 But since it’s blue, I’m not sure the flaws (whatever they are) are as noticeable as they would be in a white diamond.
I love your engagement ring. Maybe I’ll get a fancy ring someday for fun, but we decided not to do engagement rings – just because I can’t stand wearing jewelry even though I like it. We’ve been looking at alternative wedding bands lately but haven’t decided. Kind of kicking myself right now for not even thinking about getting non-matching ones! How do you like the titanium? I’m kind of hesitant because I read they can’t really be resized, but then they’re cheaper so they could be replaced. . .undecided.
If you don’t enjoy wearing jewelry, I think it’s very practical not to spend the money on an engagement ring! I’ve worn rings almost daily since I was about 12, so adding a new ring to my collection was a no-brainer. 😉
In regards to resizing, I’m not worried about my wedding band, but I was worried about my engagement ring. I’ve been unusually thin ever since I hit 110 in November 2012. Prior to that, my ring size had been consistent for about a decade. Palladium cannot be resized, so the actual ring is my previous ring size, with a spacer added to make it my current ring size. My wedding band is my previous ring size. While I’m sure it rotates, I don’t notice since the band is exactly the same all the way around. 😉 It’s not so loose that it slides up and down my finger with movement.
I’m amused by your comment about non-matching wedding bands. It never even crossed my mind that our bands should match! Like I commented to Virginia below, I originally didn’t even plan on having a band distinct from my engagement ring. Having a separate band is really just a matter of cost and convenience for when it’s not wise to wear diamonds.
I don’t know how you feel about tattoos, but I do know a couple who skipped rings completely and just had rings tattooed onto their ring fingers. They go rock-climbing a lot, so that was the practical solution for them!
Haha, yeah, just another example of how we never notice our own bias! My parents have matching, unadorned rings, and that’s just what I visualize when I think of wedding bands. So thanks for the idea 🙂
I’ve actually wanted and planned to get tattoos since I was a kid, but I’m accepting that it’s not a good idea for me now. My skin is ridiculously sensitive, and worse, it heals incredibly slowly. I still have this white frame on my arm from when I had an allergic reaction to band-aid adhesive eight months ago. Alas!
You know that saying that begins with “Great minds…”? Well, I posted this week about unique engagment ring ideas! I’m a big fan of the unique engagment ring, and I do not label yours as “nerdy” at all. I do love you embrace the “nerdy” tag.
Unique engagement rings are great (assuming that’s what the couple wants). Just read your post and loved it. 🙂
Your rings are gorgeous! So unique and an amazing story to go with them, they seem like they fit the both of you quite perfectly!
Thanks for linking up with us!
I’ve always thought wedding rings should reflect the couple. I’m just happy that my husband had his own ideas for our rings. They feel like US and not just me.
Your engagement ring is beautiful! Interesting note about the lab-created gemstones. I didn’t know that was an option (but it’s not like I am shopping for jewelry with gemstones at the moment, heh).
Thank you! Lab-created gemstones should always be an option for custom jewelry. Obviously there’s not really a choice when buying something already designed, although if the stones are lab-created, the piece should be cheaper.
i love hearing the stories behind rings like these!
Lucky for you, I love sharing stories!
Oh I love your rings! The engagement ring is beautiful and I love how unique it is. I clicked the link tot he floral designs and love all of them. It makes me almost wish I asked for a floral one when we got engaged. (emphasis on almost). 🙂
Thanks! Sometimes I think Dan knows me better than I know myself. For SO long, I told anyone who would listen that I wanted a pink sapphire engagement ring. I never would have thought to have a light blue and dark blue engagement ring, but from the moment I saw it, I knew it was perfect. Clearly Dan has paid plenty of attention to all the stories I’ve shared of my dad buying my mom jewelry.
If you like floral jewelry in general, they have some very pretty and simple earrings too! With lab-created sapphires, it’s an affordable splurge.
Wow, I love the personal stories behind these rings! I don’t know much about jewelry, but palladium sounds like such a good metal to make a ring out of. Thanks for linking up for Wedding Wednesday!
Ha, I obviously think palladium is a good metal for jewelry, but not all jewelers are willing to work with it. I’m glad Dan found Krikawa! I know the one downside for many people is that palladium can’t be resized. I actually had my engagement ring sized up to my “normal” ring size (what fit me ages 16-25) because I’ve struggled with being underweight the last few years. We had a spacer added to it for my current size.
I love how personal the rings are! I absolutely adore your engagement ring!!! <3
I’ve always thought wedding rings and an engagement ring should mean something to the specific couple. There’s nothing wrong with a classic setting or plain gold bands, but those choices should be genuine ones that reflect classical interests. Dan and I made plenty of unusual wedding choices mingled in with traditional ones, so naturally we did the same with our rings!
I love the idea of doing different rings! They clearly mean even more than traditional rings do, and that’s wonderful.
I love how unique these rings are. I love unique rings as opposed to traditional so great job here guys! Oh and congrats 🙂
I love how unique and personal these rings are to you guys!
Very pretty rings. Thanks for sharing the story!
such pretty rings! what unique qualities they both have ♥
Unique engagement/wedding rings are my jam! Someone I worked with got married a few months before I did. When she saw my ring (because I didn’t wear it until we were married since we were never formally engaged), she, along with several other co-workers, complimented my ring — how unique it was, how “me” it was, etc. Jessica, my co-worker, would grab my hand to look at it every time she passed by my desk. Then she took it a step further. Days later, she said, “I told Jeff that I wish I selected a different engagement ring. I told him about yours the other day, and I can’t stop thinking about it.” I was shocked. I said, “Jess! You can’t do that to him! He probably felt terrible hearing that.” We launched into a larger discussion about rings, expectations, pressure on men to spend a certain amount of money, picking your ring vs. being surprised, and so on. It was really interesting. Not only did people at work say that they wish they would have considered other stones or colors for their rings, but when I told Jess the cost of my ring, she nearly lost her mind. She asked, “So you’re telling me that not only is your ring super awesome but that you only spent $_______?!” (I’m not comfortable posting the number here, but I’ll tell you through e-mail. ;)) I feel like people need to put more thought into rings that just “diamonds” and “must be worth three months of the man’s salary.” Also, WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THE MAN WHO PROPOSES.