The Insider’s Guide to Political Commentary

Over the next many months, American politics will be a hot topic. Regardless of whether you watch CNN or Fox News, you might be confused by some of the terminology. With the help of both my dad and my husband, I’ve put together a handy list of words or phrases that political pundits, journalists, and politicians like to use.

According to Twitter: there is no more real news to tell

All lives matter: I don’t understand context

Assault weapon or military-grade weapon: a gun that looks scary

Bipartisan: ignoring all the Independents

Common-sense legislation: what the lobbyists pay me to think

Draconian cuts: when an annual budget increases by a smaller percentage than in previous years; a cut only to the rate of budget growth, not to the actual budget itself

Endorsing: when I publicly support a political candidate I may or may not despise because I have no other choice

Gerrymandering: making sure your vote doesn’t matter

Green energy: energy companies that gave us plenty of green

Hitler, Nazi, Somalia, free country: words that indicate I’ve lost the argument

Kabuki theatre (political theatre): when politicians do something to make a point rather than change anything

Legislating from the bench: when I disagree with a Supreme Court decision

Loopholes: legal benefits we want, but we wish the other side would stop using

Obstructionist: someone who won’t play my game

Polling results say: highly-biased polls carefully worded to get a specific result say

Pandering: caring about the interests of anyone other than white, middle-class, Christian, heterosexual men

SJW (social justice warrior): feminists

Think of the children: an emotional plea to get what I want that has nothing to do with children

Too PC: I’m annoyed that I can no longer say whatever I want without repercussions

Traditional American values: white, Protestant, middle-class, heterosexual interests

Traditional marriage: marriage between one man and one woman, completely ignoring all the alternate marriages throughout history

Unconstitutional: anything I disagree with

Unprecedented: I’m ignoring when this happened before

Wasting your vote: voting for whoever doesn’t win

Watching the sausage being made: the behind-the-scenes process of passing legislation is messy

When men were men and women were women: when gender discrimination was legal and normalized

I know I missed a few terms! What would you add to this list? Do you agree or disagree with any of my definitions? Share your comments below!