Let me cut straight to the chase.
If you earnestly plead with me that good Christian women should just cover up to help their frail, weak, pathetic Christian brothers not to lust, I will still bother to refute your points with as much politeness as I can muster.
But if you offer up the ridiculous, unoriginal metaphor of the recovering alcoholic, you’re a moron.
For my readers who have quite fortunately avoided this idiocy from proponents of Modesty Culture, here’s how the argument usually goes.
If you invite a recovering alcoholic to dinner, would you serve alcohol? Of course not! Giving alcohol to a recovering alcoholic would be like putting a stumbling block in their path. It’s the same thing with men and immodestly dressed women! Women should just cover themselves up, or they risk being a stumbling block to men.
Yeah, okay. Now we all know who failed high school English.
Here’s the problem with this thinking, aka the true hypocrisy of Modesty Culture.
It assumes that Christians are called to modify their daily behavior to prevent the potential sin of every single person they ever meet.
Well, no, that’s not exactly it. It assumes that Christian women are called to modify their daily behavior to prevent the potential lust of every single MAN they ever meet.
The burden that Modesty Culture places on women is nothing like the individual choice not to serve alcohol to an alcoholic. If you really want to use alcohol as a metaphor, imagine preachers regularly telling their congregations never to drink.
Imagine bloggers admitting they like the occasional glass of wine, but they feel convicted to pour all their alcohol down the drain.
Imagine alcoholics begging the rest of us to never drink, ever, because sometimes they feel tempted to have a drink if they just see another person drinking.
Imagine alcoholics going to bars, getting drunk, and then blaming everyone who drank responsibly for tempting the alcoholics.
Because THAT is Modesty Culture.
Bikini.
Floor-length evening gown.
Sweats.
Jeggings and a sweater.
No matter what I’m wearing, my body is not an open bar. My body is not an object. My body does not exist in a perpetual state of temptation, waiting to be consumed.
And men? I have the best “not all men” for you.
Not all men sexually objectify women, aka lust after women. Not all men are arrogant enough to think that if they’re struggling with a personal problem, the solution is to modify the actions of everyone else instead of themselves. Not all men push the responsibility for their own sins onto historically-oppressed groups of people. Not all men think it’s appropriate to compare women to alcohol and themselves to alcoholics.
In conclusion, if you compare my body to an open bar, you’re an idiot AND a misogynist.
wow! what a great post! and it is good to see/know that not all men are perceived as less than gentlemen! 🙂
love it, and spot on! wish I had something witty to add, but you said it all!
Thank you!
First off, the title is sooo brilliant. And YES to everything you said in this article! I recently came across an article today that got me all flustered and irritated. A 16 year old girl wore a dress, a dress that would be modest by a lot of Christians but people somehow managed to shame her for exposing her shoulders. That is a great example that a woman literally cannot achieve this ginormous task of accommodating the responsibilities for men to look at women as human beings instead of sex objects. I’ll probably end up writing a post next week to get out all of my thoughts on the matter. Your post was definitely an added dose of inspiration. Thanks for writing this, Brita!
There are SO many posts that frustrate me from the corners of Modesty Culture. Did you see the #ChristianCleavage debacle on Twitter? Or hear about the Christian blogger who recently wrote about lust and leggings? Other bloggers already articulated my reactions to those posts, so I wanted to address an argument that I haven’t seen done yet.
I can’t wait to read your thoughts! If you haven’t already, I also recommend checking out No Shame Movement. They’ve put together a great collection of writing against Purity/Modesty Culture.
I LOVE THIS! I’d never heard the alcoholic analogy before but it’s brilliant! Great post, Brita! You should come link up this wednesday at a brand new linkup I’m hosting! It’s called Ladies Collective Linkup <3 Come check it out, we'd LOVE to have you!
Stephanie @ http://www.mommyzoid.ca
Thanks for the invite! I’ll be sure to check it out!
Bravo!
Brilliant!! I have grown up in a very traditional family and have heard the whole “stumbling block” line too many times to count. In college, I had an awful dress code experience where my professor threatened to hurt my grade because I was a distraction to the guys in the class. That literally signals to female students that the guys are more important than themselves. I loved this post and I am so glad to see so many women realizing what you have so eloquently put!
Such great points and a well written post.
Thanks for linking up on the SHINE Blog Hop this week!
xx
Lysa
Welcome to My Circus
Co-host #SHINEbloghop 2/5/15
Thanks for sharing this. I haven’t heard this analogy yet, and I’m continuing to wear my yoga pants 🙂 Thanks for linking up to Best of the Blogosophere
This is such a great post I’ve pinned it to share with others! Thank you!