I’m so happy to have another guest post on the blog today from my blogging friend Pamela! I love the opportunity to share stories from a wide range of bloggers. I’ve known Pamela for at least a year in the blogging world–she’s been a frequent co-host of #LoveBlog!
Pamela Hodges is the blogger behind Hodge Podge Moments and The Coastie Couple. She currently lives in Michigan with her husband, baby boy, and two dogs. She just started a new project that combines her love of education with online experience. This new project, Little Learning Moments, promises to be a valuable resource for parents looking to help their child love learning.
Setting Career Goals
Somewhere in the middle of second grade, I gave up on my dream of becoming a professional cheerleader and decided that teaching was more my style. When I shared this new dream with my parents, the first thing they told me was that teaching would require college.
No problem.
I set out on a path towards college and scholarships.
Achieving Career Goals
I surpassed my goals in so many ways.
Scholarships paid for my undergraduate studies.
I worked my way through graduate school while living with my parents to save money. My first year, I worked full-time as a teacher’s assistant.
Then I found a full-time teaching job at a school I loved–and I excelled at it. Quickly I became involved in the school, leading committees and working to plan curriculum at the district level.
I was on top of the world!
But something was still missing.
Discovering Life Goals
It took me a while to figure out what was missing from my life. Then I remembered my other goal, one not related to my career: getting married and having a family of my own.
All of my career goal chasing had left me no time for dating. In fact, I didn’t date at all in my early 20s!
Since my career goals were secure at that point, I set out to meet new people.
After many failed dates, online dating attempts, and just general dating weirdness, I met and fell in love with my (now) husband. This set into motion many life-changing events including a year of long-distance dating and a cross-country move.
Balancing Different Goals
Suddenly, life goals were taking precedence over my career goals. As someone who had always aimed for independence, it was a bit hard to swallow at times. (Quitting my job to move was not an easy decision, and I put it off as long as I could).
I moved to California and got married, fully expecting to put my career on hold for a year. (Well, partially on hold–I had planned to sub.) Instead, I had a job opportunity literally fall into my lap in the middle of the school year. To say I was excited is an understatement.
My year of teaching in California is one of the biggest battles I have ever faced. There were tears, frustration, and a general questioning of self. I didn’t have a job guarantee for the following year (since I started mid-year, my contract was different). When it came time for contract renewal and hiring, I didn’t even try to pursue getting a job the next year. Instead, I decided to push pause on my career.
Putting My Career on Hold
Before becoming a stay-at-home-mom, I hadn’t always heard the most positive things about them. Like I encountered the idea that SAHMs aren’t independent, which is one of the things I’ve always aimed for. Since starting on this parenting journey, I have discovered that SAHMs are stronger and more independent than you could imagine! I hope to join the growing voices of women (and men!) who are painting a new picture of the stay-at-home-parent. (Seriously, feel free to reach out and ask me all about it!)
I do plan to return to my career as a teacher once our little one starts school. Until then though, I’m happy with my decision to put my child and family ahead of my career.
Thank you, Pamela, for writing such an honest post about your journey to stay-at-home motherhood.
How do you balance your goals? Do you prioritize one area (like health) during certain seasons of life, while focusing on another (like career) during different times?
Loved hearing this story! I’ll admit I’ve never really cared about what I was doing between 9-5 because I have always felt drawn towards motherhood so my career has been an afterthought until motherhood happens. It hasn’t stopped me from getting promotions but I try and focus on what my job(the money!) can make happen for me like fun hobbies or a nicer house. Or the people that I work with becoming friends instead of just “work friends”.
I’ve always felt drawn to both, but it still frustrates me at times when I think too much about not making much money right now. Even though focusing on my health and building passive income streams are both important so that I can physically get pregnant and be a SAHM during infancy.
I’ve always felt a pull towards both. I think I put my career first for a while because it had easier “goals” to attain than motherhood. It was much easier to get a degree than it was to find a husband and start a family. I enjoyed my job a lot and I do plan to go back when my kids are in school. Luckily, teaching is quite family friendly since I’ll have a similar schedule to my kids!
I’ve never had a ton of work friends so the social factor wasn’t something I was really drawn to. However, I did pick a masters in something that could very easily let me work part-time so I could balance keeping up a line of my resume + having kids. I always knew I wanted to have kids so I made goals with my career for that.
kudos for taking the leap! I don’t have any children but when that time comes, I would like to be a SAHM/WFHM (since I can’t imagine completely neglecting my business haha). My focus shift several times throughout a year but the one thing that remains consistent is the challenge to juggle it all and making a decision to lay something to the side for awhile so I don’t burnout.
I plan on being a WAHM too, at least part-time, after the hypothetical baby is at least 6 months old. I mean, I’m sure I’ll still be blogging during that 6 months, just not giving anything else work-related much attention. 🙂
Juggling it all has turned out to be the biggest struggle! I’m just now slowly returning to full time blogging and it definitely has a new look now that I’m a mom trying to balance things!
I’m the same. I taught for 3 years because I have ALWAYS wanted to be a teacher. But, I always wanted to have kids too. I have a 2.5 year old and a 4 month old right now. When they are both in school, I’ll return to the classroom. For now, I’m content to be a SAHM and do some freelancing on the side.
We sound so much alike! That’s exactly where I’m at right now! Our little one is now 3 months and we do plan to have one or two more. I’m thankful that we made the budget work so that I can give our kids my full attention before I return to the classroom to inspire the kids of others!
I love this! I’m a stay at home mom and I love the freedom it gives me. I do want to make money doing something I love but right now I’m making sure I have time to give my son my all. He’ll grow up one day and move away and then I can devote myself to something else. 🙂
Thanks! I’m finding it’s an adjustment for me, but overall I’m loving it. Now that he’s starting to take naps, I’m getting back a sense of self and that’s helping a lot! Love meeting other stay at home moms and hearing their experiences. 🙂