Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you enjoy Day 14 of #LoveBlog. Maybe you and your valentine can check out the #LoveBlog tag for some romantic inspiration! Or check out all the prompts to compose your own #LoveBlog post this week. Today’s prompt is Marital Roles.
Dan and I have been married for less than two years. Yet, during this relatively short time, what role we each take in our marriage has changed so many times. It’s almost as though we adapt to life as necessary instead of following a 1950s sitcom script for marriage…
We lean on each other in times of grief, of sorrow, of pain. Last summer we supported each other as my mother slowly died. She was my mother, but she was Dan’s mother-in-law, and I was there for him as he was there for me.
We move together. We laugh together. We decide together. I decide to let Dan decide, or he decides to let me decide.
We cook. I do the dishes and the laundry. He maintains the cars. I dust. He vacuums.
I write. He reads what I write.
I seduce him.
He seduces me.
I say yes to sex and no to sex and maybe to sex if we can get this one thing done, all without worrying that he’ll be hurt or mad or mean or sad. And he says no to sex and yes to sex and can we have sex tomorrow I’m tired tonight, all without worrying that I’ll be unhappy with his wants.
We go out.
To the zoo. To the art museum. To the science museum. To the aquarium. To the shooting range.
We stay in.
We play board games. We take Sunday naps. We cuddle. We watch Netflix. We make fancy meals. We dine.
To Ohio, to South Carolina, to Colorado, to Texas, to Florida.
For holidays, for weddings, for long weekends just because. To see friends and to visit family.
My husband doesn’t lead me anymore than I lead him. I don’t submit to him anymore than he submits to me.
Life is messy and beautiful and complicated and raw and so very very human. I don’t fit into a box, and I don’t ask my husband to climb into a box either.
Our marriage is our marriage.
Our marital roles are that of Dan and Brita, husband and wife, the Flong family coming together as one while still being unique and individual.
Sarah Bessey often describes marriage as a beautiful dance.
You follow when I step out to a new place and I know when to slide into your new turn as a shadow and you lead us both through but usually, it’s just us, always us, trusting each other’s heart for the other, moving seamlessly, together.
It’s our embrace masquerading as a dance, our real marriage, accomplishing only loving as a picture of grace drawing near.
My marriage is real.
My marriage is beautiful.
Dan and I move together through life the way we do on the dance floor.
Holding each other close.
Spinning, twirling, merrily moving as two people in one direction.
I hope we’ll never stop dancing.
Meet Your #LoveBlog Hosts!
Meet Brita Long: Christian feminist blissfully married to Dan Fleck for almost two years. Lover of Paris, pink sparkles, sensible shoes, manicures, and books. Fueled by hot tea and mimosas.
Meet Erin Otts: Southern Christian Wife, Married to Matthew for almost 2 years, Fur-Mama, Lover of Coffee and a good glass of Vino, Reading, Dreamer, Huge Netflix/TV Binger. Trying to find her way in this world with God and her Husband.
Meet Kira Brennan: 20-something recently transplanted to Texas. She’s a happily married feminist, and loves art, vintage sewing, learning languages, and social justice. She has two cats, Electra and Chummy, who love to walk on her stuff.
Welcome to #LoveBlog!
What roles did/do take in their marriage? If you’re married or in a serious relationship, how do you and your significant other balance each other?