Dan and I are back in Duluth, both suffering from the same cold we caught in London. Luckily I have one more guest post to share with y’all!
Kristin Cook is the author of The Peculiar Treasure- a blog that is all about having the courage to be the peculiar people that God has called us to be. Kristin wants everyone to see that we all are a little bit odd–peculiar–and God uses that to do great things when we trust in Her.
You can check out her blog here!
You can also follow along with Kristin on Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or even check out her Etsy shop.
I’ve been married for two years. Not technically “newlywed” status, but not even close to “veteran” level. Like many married folk, I sometimes cause stupid fights, defend arguments that mean nothing in the long run, and allow my stubborn spirit to take over more often than I should. But in my two plus years of being hitched, I have learned a thing or two.
Among the lessons I’ve learned, respect is a biggie! I am learning that respecting my husband is much deeper and more complex than I initially realized, and I am learning that being a respectful wife who loves well is a marathon- not a sprint.
Related: Wives Need Respect Too
The Do’s of Being a Good Wife
Do: Try to be mindful of his time and interests when you make plans that include him too
I am so bad about making plans for Taylor and me before checking with him first. He is one of the most laid-back people I know, so I usually just know he will go with the flow. But it is far more respectful for me to check with him first, even if I already know what he will say.
Do: Brag on your husband in public
I know I love it when Taylor brags on me in front of others, and I want him to know how proud I am of him. I want him to feel as special as I do when he brags on me. Brag on your hubby, friends. Make him feel loved.
Do: Be considerate of his hard work when you are considering going on a shopping spree
I get it, ladies. Maybe you work full-time and you figure that your husband makes enough that you can use “your money” to buy whatever you want. But honestly, unless you and hubby have had a conversation about a spending allowance for each of you, you need to be considerate before making large purchases. Once you say “I do,” whatever money you make is no longer just yours. It belongs to both of you, and therefore, that new iPhone really should be talked about first.
Do: Try to show him love via his love language
It’s easy to love people in our own love language. But learning to love your spouse in his love language will bring him more joy. Don’t know what your (and your husband’s) love language is? Take the quiz together and find out!
Do: Remember to judge him with the same measure you judge yourself
To be honest, most of us are hypocrites in one way or another. Let’s be sure to give our husbands as much grace as we give ourselves–and give ourselves as much accountability as we give our husbands.
The Don’ts
Don’t: Assume your husband is chill with you hanging out with the opposite sex
Personally, I don’t like hanging out with the opposite sex without my husband present. He trusts me, and he knows that I would never do anything to hurt him, but I still prefer to stay away from those situations. And I realize that this doesn’t mean that every couple will function this way. Regardless though, respecting your hubby enough to talk to him about where you are going and who you’ll be with is crucial. If nothing else, he will probably appreciate the gesture.
Related: It’s Not You; It’s My Marriage
Don’t: Complain about all his flaws in public
Your husband has flaws. You knew that before you married him. But talking about his irritating habits in public is not only hurtful and embarrassing to him; it’s also very telling of your own character.
Note: This does not extend to abuse, including, but not limited to: financial abuse, name-calling, yelling, threats, physical abuse. Please talk to someone if your spouse frightens you in any way.
Don’t: Treat him like he is your servant
This one is honestly really tough for me. I did not grow up learning that wives were princesses, but somehow, I adopted the practice of acting like one anyway… “Taylor, will you get me a drink?”, “Taylor, will you please do the dishes and vacuum the floor and let the dogs out (even though I haven’t moved off the couch all day)?” These phrases are a little too common in my house and though I believe that men should be willing to serve their wives, I also believe that we as wives should be willing to serve our husbands. Whoops…
Don’t: Project past hurt from other men onto him
He is not them. Plain and simple. Just because your ex devalued you doesn’t mean your hubby is doing that. Just because your ex was unfaithful doesn’t mean you should assume your spouse will eventually be unfaithful too. He’s the good guy, remember? Isn’t that one of the reasons you married him?
Ladies, each couple functions differently, and there isn’t necessarily a formula for being a respectful wife, BUT (and it’s a big but) there are still general principles that are a good idea to follow. I believe these are some of them.
At the end of the day, being a respectful wife means loving your hubster in the way he needs, being there for him, and speaking well of him. Build him up and treat him well, both in public and behind closed doors. But if you want to get more specific than that, I hope these tips will help you build a better marriage, one in which you respect your husband more and more each day.
And hey, this advice goes both ways, for any husbands reading this post!
What are your tips for respecting your spouse?
